ACoN: Adult Child of a Narcissist
The ACoN Society was formed in 2012 to provide an online gathering place for ACoNs around the world.
Finding out that you're not alone in your journey can be liberating. The ACoN Society exists to connect individuals with common backgrounds with one another, with the blogs of other ACoNs, and with resources.
We hope that The ACoN Society will provide a nexus for the online ACoN community, and that here you can belong. "Membership" is free, and the only rule is simple: love one another.
Articles posted here are written by fellow survivors of narcissism, and are not intended to replace or supplement the advice of mental health professionals. They are the opinions of the author(s) alone, and are meant solely for 'entertainment purposes'. We are not experts nor therapists - we are laypeople who wish to share our experiences in the hope that they will provide encouragement for others in similar situations.
Welcome to our community. We are sorry that you have gone through what you have.
Please note that ACoN blogs are the frequent target of trolls (many of which appear to be estranged and manipulative parents seeking vengeance and/or control). We do what we can to keep the haters out, and welcome anyone who truly understands what it is to be on the receiving end of an abusive relationship with a heinously unfair power-imbalance. If you've made it through your adult parent's pathology as a resource-less and innocent child and lived to tell the tale - you're welcome here. We're sorry you have the credentials to join this 'society', but we're glad you've found us.
Volvo Longe Abs Arbor: Roll Far from the Tree
Apart from the obvious similarities between the acronym "ACoN" and the word 'acorn', the acorn is a good representative of the ACoN experience.
A small seed from a large, strong oak tree doesn't have much in the way of power, influence or ability. As the saying goes, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree". But let us not assume that this means we are doomed to become carbon copies of our troubled parents; we are each a unique creation.
Though we begin small and fall helplessly to earth under the imposing shadow of the mighty oak, we are not completely without hope. And so, we say to one another, "Roll Far from the Tree"! Let's help each other to gain momentum and to move out from under the shade of our biological source.
Another nice mental picture to keep in mind is that each mighty oak began with a single acorn. In time, the powerless become the powerful. Let's always vow to use our power for the benefit of others and not for selfish or abusive purposes. We are each completely unique in our compositions. We may even have inherited a beneficial combination of traits as a combination of a dominant narcissist and a passive enabler. The difference is that we live our lives by a very different credo, perhaps bravely going into territory that members of our family of origin fear to tread. We are explorers into unknown lands, seeking a better life for ourselves and those we hold dear.
If your parent ever said to you "It's all downhill from where you are!", have hope! And continue to roll ever farther from that toxic tree!