Doxing and the ACoN - an opinion

by Quercus

"Doxing" - if you haven't heard the term prior to now, chances are you will. We all know how much "The Media" likes to get its sensationalizing hands on new terms and trends!

Please have a gander at the following CBC news article on doxing if you'd like a more thorough description. An excerpt from "Online vigilantes: Is 'doxing' a neighbourhood watch or dangerous witch hunt?" by Janet Davidson of CBC News:

Hackers and others who "dox" — or poke through internet documents to try to reveal real-life names behind anonymous identities — have been rooting around on the internet for a while.

'At its worst, it could be a kind of vigilantism.'—David Murakami Wood

If you follow Mulderfan's blog, you'll have seen that last week she had a former student of hers 'help her' by being ever so concerned about Mulderfan's supposed internet security. Whether it was well-intentioned, some sort of bizarre opportunity to battle for supremacy over an authority figure, a mixture of both, or simply a 'troll' being rotten for the sake of some good ol' fashioned negative attention (hey, if you can't get positive attention...! Us ACoNs can certainly relate to having less than supportive FOOs ourselves!), it still caused dear Mulderfan some anxiety and confusion, no doubt.

I had several points I wanted to make on this subject.

1. Is there really anything wrong with remaining anonymous on a personal blog?

No, there isn't. For starters, there were an estimated 156 000 000 (that's 156 million!) blogs in existence in February of 2011 (reference). I don't know about you, and maybe this is my latent narcissism speaking, but of the 156 million personal blogs out there, there are probably only 100 or so that I could care enough to read once, let alone to add to my blogger reader list.

I don't care if my neighbour blogs, or what they blog about. I can think of 40 people right this instant whose personal thoughts would interest me less than a book of 'for fun' calculus problems. Are they anonymous? Could they be talking about me? I don't know, I honestly don't care (unless it becomes a criminal or legal issue), and my time on earth is too short and too precious to waste on such an endeavour. I would rather nap out of boredom than try to 'dox' some former teacher's personal blog, myself. Maybe my teachers weren't as enigmatic as Mulderfan was, and are therefore so terribly tedious that I could not waste a single second trying to track them down. Onwards and upwards instead, to bigger and more important issues!

2. Is there really anything wrong with 'doxing'?

Yes, there is, if it's done outside of the legal system. The legal system exists for a reason - it's to protect us. It's something WE as a PEOPLE have collectively supported, developed and rely upon to keep our societies functional. It is NOT a group of adults that needs to be challenged - it's something we all accept as an essential construct to keep the world turning. If the walls of civilization come crashing down, you can bet your ass that your ISO will be one of the first things to go. It isn't free or cheap to keep the internet running, you know!
Hacking the identity of child pornographers, criminals, even cyber bullies in order to protect and serve the public is the domain of the POLICE. The police should, and probably do, snap up the skilled 'doxers' out there and put them to good use. We all know that the internet is mostly porn, and that the porn industry is lucrative and exploitative, and that vulnerable people and children are preyed upon for the benefit of organized crime. Here is a scenario where 'doxing' suddenly becomes important and relevant.
If you want to go vigilante and flex your coding muscle (and you're looking for my blessing, which I don't see why you would), then go after the child predators. Please. And then present your findings to the FBI or RCMP or whomever. And ask for a job. I'd love your skills to be put to use on ANYTHING other than hacking the identity of another everyday citizen with a personal blog! Seriously - priorities, people! If you've got skills, change our world for the better! Enlist in the justice system - I'll happily pay taxes to keep you employed, provided you've been thoroughly trained and educated and are overseen by trustworthy civil servants.

3. Do any of us ACoNs actually need to know Mulderfan's, or any other anonymous ACoN's, identity?

This is an important consideration - the answer is an EMPHATIC no! Again, unless there is a criminal investigation underway by the sort of people trained, educated and trusted to do rigourous and legal investigation (i.e. the FUZZ), Mulderfan's real name, address, shoe size, favourite meal, eye colour and bathroom habits are entirely IRRELEVANT! She's a prolific blogger on the subject of familial narcissism who has contributed greatly to the knowledge and support of other like-minded somewhat-secretive individuals who self-identify as ACoNs. She is a valued and respected member of a society, digital or otherwise, who I personally hold in high regard. Knowing Mulderfan exists makes my existence better. I don't have the privilege of knowing Mulderfan in 'real life', but I don't really need to. I would sincerely like the pupil who was 'helping' her to know that a person can be of real value and benefit solely for the writings they provide.

Take, for example, this list of "Anonymously Published Works" on Wikipedia. Beowulf and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight are two famous, nay, pivotal and momentous works of literature that have shaped the collective fabric of Western society, written anonymously. Note that this list does NOT include famous works published under pseudonyms or pen names (that list is here, and is by no means exhaustive - it doesn't even include Mark Twain!).

Do we care who wrote these famous works? Sure, a few people are very curious and would like to know. But they're not common, and they hide out in the dusty recesses of university art history departments.

Do the vast majority of people care? Of course not! What is of value is not WHO but WHAT. This is an important point - is it important to be able to look up old photos of Bill Gates and find out what gifts he was given for his 5th birthday? Or is it more important to speak on what Bill Gates has contributed to society? In 100 years, will people even remember his name? I can guarantee that no one will care what he did before computers. And with all due respect to Mulderfan and my fellow ACoNs, we're not as interesting. No one cares who we are except us, and we're happy with the status quo of pseudonyms as they serve our purposes rather well.

4. Is anonymity a good thing?

YES! Good heavens, if people couldn't remain anonymous, the entire justice system would grind to a halt! Witness Protection Program, anyone? Whistle-blowers standing up for the rights of the exploited? How about in the cases of benevolent giving - is it okay to be an anonymous donor? What about if you gave a kidney and wished to remain anonymous? There are so many instances where anonymity is a brilliant or essential option. Here's another example - Mulderfan's anonymous student. How would they enjoy being outed? Obviously they wouldn't for some reason or another, or they'd have used their real name. Note that none of us ACoNs have gone vigilante on their butt and hacked them (no, that's not a threat - it's a point: we value anonymity and would like to prove it by not destroying someone else's). Mulderfan's anonymous student's points are every bit as valid as they would be if she or he had used their real name. Chew on that. Why out Mulderfan?

5. Do ACoNs fear having to stand to public account for their blogs?

Probably not! We're not making up stories or lying - we're telling the stories of our lives, anonymously, to other people with similar backgrounds as a means to bring about healing! In many cases, the very act of blogging was recommended to us by health care professionals.
In fact, the details of our lives ARE available. Our mental health records can be subpoenaed by any number of government agencies for the good of our society, if needed. The people who can have legal access to that information are again accredited, educated, appointed or elected officials who have proven themselves to be trustworthy to society as a whole. No system is perfect, but it is infinitely better than the lack of a system. (All of us sitting on our butts blogging, hacking, typing are not as fit or strong as your average muscle-bound gym monkey; when the walls of society come tumbling down, the folks with the real advantage will NOT be the computer savvy! Be careful not to collapse the system that feeds, friends!).

6. So why do I blog under the name of "Quercus" and not my real name?

Easy. I never got ANY privacy as a child. Not physically, but most importantly, not emotionally or mentally. My thoughts were policed (this is easy to do on a child - they have simplistic thoughts that can readily be 'read' right off their faces). My emotions were controlled; much like a puppy getting a spritz of water to the face every time it pees on the carpet, an expression of ANYTHING other than a smile (yes, that includes a NEUTRAL affect! Always had to be radiating happiness for the world to attribute to my parent's skill at raising a child!) resulted in punishment.
Can you imagine what it was like to be a teenager?! All young people need to 'rebel' to some extent (some against their former teachers, apparently!), and if I so much as thought about it, I was hurt in ways I can't begin to describe. My psyche is royally screwed. I have to spend a large proportion of my cash not saving for a car or a vacation or for a home or even shoe shopping (which would be nice!) but paying to see a shrink to help me not want to kill myself. I spend my earnings battling depression. This is not a preferred state of affairs, let me just say. I'd rather spend that money on something else.
But now I can blog. This means that for once I can have privacy AND experience life honestly AND share my thoughts with others for the first time, free of reproach! Anonymous blogging works for me to exercise my right to self-expression.
Currently, anonymity on the internet is not a crime. Yes, I could be hacked. I know that, and so does Mulderfan, and so do all ACoNs. The internet is not secure.
But there IS security in numbers. One in 156 million is a very small percentage. And I'm not a remarkable person, either, so why on earth would anyone care enough to bother to 'out' me? I'll take my chances, and I'll keep speaking the truth knowing that at any point in time the whole world could read it. What do I care? What does the world care? I have no illusions as to my relative importance, and I'm sure Mulderfan doesn't either.
The only person who had cared enough to find out who Mulderfan really is so far has been that anonymous student. Anonymous student has a point - her abilities aren't particularly special, and there are many people who could hack Mulderfan's site.
The real question is: Who would bother? Can you get money out of knowing who she is? Is her credit card or social insurance number tied to the name Mulderfan? No? Then very likely no one aside from Anonymous Student is going to BOTHER to dox her. Duh.
And what if her FOO finds out? What are they going to do? Mulderfan did not identify them - the doxer did. Mulderfan isn't lying, she's discussing her own life. It's HER LIFE TO DISCUSS after all.

I refer you to the Electronic Frontier Foundation. If you value the ability to anonymously blog online, please consider a donation to the EFF and their team of lawyers who are looking to protect the rights of individuals. 

Back to me and my choice to write under a pseudonym...

The people who NEED to know who I really am and where I live already know. Again, my records can be legally subpoenaed. There is no secrecy here that prevents justice from being done or which allows me to hurt others. I speak of my own thoughts, experiences, trials and triumphs. For the first time, I can converse openly and safely (yes, I realise that's relative safety, but it's safety nevertheless) with other people who understand my situation!

If it weren't for blogs like Mulderfan's, I'm not sure how well I'd be. I think I'd still be alive, but I can't even say that for sure.

An online anonymous community of people blogging about their experiences was a lifeline! Here were stories just like mine! Perspectives I hadn't considered (and varied perspectives - there was no shortage)!

There were new ACoNs with fresh minds, independent philosophies, and different experiences with invaluable insight. There were seasoned veterans very much entrenched in their ways, but as a result they stood as firm pillars of the community, holding rigidly to the truth as they saw it and defending the Adult Child of Narcissists to the hilt. There were people in the middle of this with differing views. There were males (okay, only a few - q and Evan, God bless them!), and there were females. There were mothers and there were those without children. There were grandmothers. There were people of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds. There are people with different religions. There were cranky people, friendly people, bubbly people. There are quiet people, loud people, gentle people, abrasive people. Some people went No Contact, some didn't, some hadn't yet. Some people had Narcissistic Fathers, some had Narcissistic Mothers, some had Narcissistic Siblings, and we all had different stories.

And all of them, ALL of them, go by assumed or incomplete names. And that doesn't matter in the slightest.

What did matter what that all of them had something important to contribute. 

And I don't want any of them to disappear because they were bullied into silence, by proud doxers or even by fellow ACoNs.

If it wasn't for the richness and variety of 'ACoNs' out there, the benefits to other grown children of abusive parents wouldn't be so great. It would be a few polar or even mild-mannered blogs scattered throughout those 156 million personal blogs. There would be no safe haven for us.

So a plea to those looking to 'dox' out the identity of an ACoN - please don't. If ACoNs can't share their experiences in a way that feels safe and equitable to them, then people like me who were desperately seeking their thoughts and opinions won't find them.

These blogs may have quite literally saved my life. And I'm sure I'm not alone.